For Valentine's Day a couple of friends and I were feeling a bit unlucky in love and tried to find a more-or-less legal and morally appropriate way to force people to love us. We made drugs. Containing an intoxicating mix of the most potent of aphrodisiacs, we spent our evenings and weekends, cutting, packing, and plotting romantic dates.
We sold them on the dark web, in the hopes of spreading oyster induced love on a global scale.
And shipped them out stuffed into teddy bears, because that's what you do with drugs, right?
They didn't work. We're all still very single and alone, but the drugs are strangely tasty. I think it's the watermelon.